So, I need to introduce you to the way that I categorise drunk people. During my career I have dealt with more drunks than I can keep track of. I would say easily running into several hundred. And what I learnt, amongst other things, is that most people who are drunk fall into one of my categories. Now please don't judge me for this as it is purely observation and also makes for an interesting chat when delivering the STCW Medical training because we all know at least one person from each category and sometimes........a person can be in multiple categories depending on many other factors.
Once we have established these categories there is a serious note to this blog so please do keep reading.
CATEGORY 1: The "Bloody love you" drunk
These are my favourites. They literally want to have fun, tell you how much they love you and make friends with everyone.
CATEGORY 2: The aggressive drunk
This one is a nightmare. It doesn't matter what you say or do, they will want to pick an argument or even worse, an actual fight with you. Or him over there becuase he is looking at you weirdly, or her in the corner because she is laughing at you.
CATEGORY 3: The dissapearing drunk
Has your mate ever said "I am just off to the loo" and then you haven't seen him/her again? These are the ones that sneak away. Fall asleep on the loo or just leave and don't tell anyone.
CATEGORY 4: The emotional drunk
The cryer or the one that wants to rake over why they have split up from their latest partner and they don't understand what went wrong and they really really, like REALLY love them still and why can't they just see that and if I just message them then surely they will realise it was all a mistake and take me back!
Whatever category you fall into though, you are at risk. The most obvious one is the physical damage it does to your body. But what about the mental damage it does to you? Ever woken up and thought "Oh Shit! What did I do/say last night?" next thing you know you are looking for a new flat in a different town where you can make friends and tell them that you are tea-total. We fondly refer to that as a Rightmove hangover.
People drink for different reasons. People get drunk on different amounts. But when is someone just drunk and not suffering from something else. Well, that is the burning question and something that I feel incredibly strongly about. So much so, that when I am dealing with people who appear to be drunk, the mantra I silently repeat to myself is "they are not drunk until I have proven that drunk is the only thing that they can be".
What does that mean exactly? Well, there are many things that mimic being drunk and if as a medical practitioner I choose to assume they are drunk without doing my due diligence then I am negligent.
Take Diabetes for example. A low blood sugar episode that can present with the following signs and symptoms:
- Sweating
- Drowsy
- Feeling shaky or trembling
- Becoming easily irritated, tearful, anxious or moody
- Blurred vision
- Confusion or difficulty concentrating
- Unusual behaviour, slurred speech or clumsiness
- Collapsing or passing out
Or, how about a Head Injury:
- Headache
- Nausea and vomitting
- Passing out
- Mempry loss
- Change in behaviour, like being more irritable or losing interest in the things around you
- Problems with walking, balance, understanding, speaking or writing
- Blurred vision
Any of these symptoms sounding familiar?
There are many other neurological issues that mimc the behaviour of being drunk and it is our jobs as care providers to establish exactly what it is we are dealing with so that we can treat the cause correctly.
So, the moral of the story?? Nobody is just drunk until we have proved that they are just drunk by doing a careful assessment on their neurological status and gained as much info from any bystanders as possible. Because lets face it, they may be an aggressive drunk who has been in a fight and been hit in the face and now has a head injury or perhaps they are a dissapearing drunk who is actually diabetic and their blood sugar has taken a dangerous drop. Or maybe, just maybe they are just really drunk but feeling sick and we want to make sure that they don't vomit in their sleep and choke on it.
And with that delightful image (!!) I will leave you to ponder the types of drunks you have met and what category they fit in to.......