I love medicine. Fact. I love being an Offshore Medic. In fact I would go as far as to say I am seriously passionate about what I do. Looking after seafarers and those that support them from a medical perspective is something that I have been doing for 22 years now and I still look forward to each and every day.
Part of my Continuous Professional Development (CPD) is to make sure that I stay clinically current. So, shifts on the ambulances are a natural place to get the hands dirty again… so to speak!
Well, all of those who know me, will also know that I like to reflect on my experiences, make sense of them and learn from them. Though I generally end up overthinking what I did, and then become uber critical, it’s really helpful in finding ways to improve my performance!
So, I arrived and the first thing on my mind was my partner. Who would it be? How much experience have they got? What was our contingency plan going to be? Well, I needn't have worried about any of that. My partner was a seasoned Emergency Medical Technician with plenty of experience and common sense so we just got stuck into our checks and worked through that. We formulated our plan of attack should we get an urgent call and made sure we knew who was grabbing what bags/equipment etc. I am all about the planning and like to make sure that my plan A is foolproof, but that I also have plan B and possibly even a plan C just for the belt and braces.
But, more importantly I want to share how I felt and what I have taken away from my shifts on the ambulances personally and professionally. Remember, I work at sea so my medical perspective is built on those experiences.
1. Talking is so important. I know everyone is saying this but my partner, who I’d only met for the first time that day, needed to talk. Really talk. We both sobbed and we both laughed until our guts ached but it was out there. The pain and grief, the frustrations and the absolute helplessness that this job sometimes brings.
2. People are desperate. How have we become so lonely? I don't have any answers but it breaks my heart that people have to call an ambulance just to talk to someone for the first time in weeks. This behaviour isn’t just isolated to lockdown either.
3. Support is vital. Where do you get it from? Family? Friends? Colleagues? I like to thrash out case details and pull it all to pieces so that I can examine my actions and see what I could do better next time. Choosing the right support person to do that with is really important. You need someone who can take a step back and be constructive with their criticism, be honest with you about your cock ups and help you find the way forward positively.
4. There is definitely an element of me that can be numb to things that I have to deal with. I used to believe that it was the best way to deal with what I was seeing and experiencing. To remain one step removed from the trauma that these people are going through whether it be medical, mental health or injury seemed to be the safest approach. I still believe that you have to be able to take that step back to be able to do your job in the most effective way. But I now don't believe that you should numb yourself to it all as it can be detrimental longer term.
There are cases that I will feel forever and every now and then I pull them out of the box that I have put them in and relive them. I know that may sound weird and judge if you will, but… as I get older and my experience has grown, I can look at these cases with fresh perspective and it helps me. There is one particular case that rendered me an absolute mess afterwards because I couldn't do anything for my patient. I reflect on that case regularly and it helps shape how I choose my CPD. I want to understand situations and my response to them better so I continuously look at how I can do that.
5. My main takeaway from this recent set of shifts is just how much tea and coffee is needed to get us through our shift… only kidding (but not really). The truth is that no matter how many thankless jobs you do, somehow you may just make a change that is significant to someone and that makes it all worth while.
In the spirit of honesty and transparency, this has been hard to write about. Both the ambulance shifts and writing about it opened up a lot of old boxes that have been closed for quite some time. But and I am grateful for the opportunity to feel it all again so strongly because now I know that I can still be good at my job.
So, time for a coffee, a check in with my lovely seafarers and to get back to what I love.
Liz x